Monday, December 7, 2009






SILENT CONVERSATIONS WITH A CITY

The city loomed in and out of vision, just like memory spots; fading in and out. They balanced straight and the uneasiness easily slides into her head - her body - her soul. The wheels touched the ground, and she could see the Magnificence of the city she had so bitterly wanted to hate, but couldn’t. She loved it: with all her heart and all her passion. This was where her Home was to be!

The wait to get off the buzzing machine seemed to be never ending. The seat, the tarmac, the airport, everything looked as though she had seen it all before, felt it before.. So familiar. She searched everywhere for him, as though he'd have left his remembrances for her to find. And she laughed... she was never to see him again.

The doors opened up and the cold air caught her off guard, and she could smell him. He must have once stood here and been thinking of the cold air as she did today. Wanting to stand there forever, she quickly wrapped her arms around herself to protect the skin from the icy air and alighted from the air monster. This was the beginning of a journey... which, for her, had no end..!!

Post getting over with the luggage, she collected all her might and every ounce of energy that was there, and walked out of the gates. Her eyes were hunting around, avoiding unknown faces, looking out for someone familiar. What was wrong with her?? She knew he'd not be there. But was he next to the ATM? Was he in and around the parking lots? Near the florist?? Where was he?

Driving around the city felt as though she was touring her home. Names and places seemed closer. Her final destination was beyond city limits, which they managed to leave within a brief span of time. The only relief was felt when she started figuring out by the directional boards on the highway that they had left the city way back. And it felt as though the roads were talking to her, talking to her with a vengeance. Telling her not to worry, and that she’d be back in 2 days and they’d see her again!!

As promised, they did see her again, and soon too. 2 days rushed by like a winter's evening, over before it started, and much to her anxiety, she was back here, in his locality, in his vicinity, in his kingdom. Oh! How she missed him. How she longed for him. Desired for 1 gentle touch... just 1. God!! Her world was whirling and she felt like a lunatic out in some unknown terrain, not knowing where to go and where to hide. The nights were even more miserable. “Does he know i'm there?? Will he drop by to say hi? Will he call me late to just talk.” Of course not. He never would, and thank God for that!! Once again his body fragrance gushed into her mind, and once again she thought of their days together. Once again she re-lived the past. Once again she slept without him. And once again she dreamt of him.


She could feel his presence in the markets. She knew he'd been there many a times, and might have been there this morning also. One never knows!! Was he seeing her from some far away corner? His eyes were travelling across her body. Swear by God she felt it so many times. It felt as though he was watching her & her moves. Only His thought had the power to maker her go weak in the knees.

As the days wore off it was time to get back to the buzzing monster machine. She actually still had loads of time, but decided to run, for the sake of her sanity, in which she truly believed until this day.

Reaching the airport hours in advance was no fun, and her edgy hysteric self didn’t help much either. After having 3 cups of coffee, it still didn’t calm down the rattling nerves. She still wasn’t prepared to leave, and she still wanted to run away. Her body felt as though it would burst on the seams with grief. It felt as though she had suffered an immense loss; a loss that couldn’t be repaired. She wandered around the airport, trying to find him. One glimpse, one look, one hug. Her eyes filled with tears as she finally heard her flight being called out. It was time she moved on. But how?

Her soul was ripped apart. What was this connection? What was this bonding?? It was just not letting go. It felt as though she had been through a wringer to reach back on the tarmac. What was so tragic and gripping about this whole thing? It was scary, and it had shaken her conscience up. This was nowhere close to being normal. The tarmac still had the icy mid night air which made a person freeze.

As they stood there with tears running down her face, her boarding pass in hand and hand bag carelessly lying on the ground, an attendant was telling her to get into the coach. The flight was scheduled to leave in 10 mins odd.

10 mins!! That’s all that was left of something that was once her own. Her home. Her family!! This was it.

The ride back to the flight was like a walk on burning sands in the hot sun. It was as though she had blisters all over. It was difficult moving, and she now felt a constant physical ache in her body. Settling into the flight seat again made her think of what was being left behind, and what was being taken back with her. Tears kept rolling out like a tap that needed repairs. She knew she was done for the day, and the exhaust was felt in every bit of her movement. As they started taxing, reality just soaked in. She was leaving. She never saw him once!! It was futile to try to fight back the water downpour, so she just let it be. It felt as though the city were calling out for her, begging her not to leave. She had felt that if her exit had been even slightly delayed, she might have fought all the powers in the world to rush back to it… but it was too late. The city lights eventually dazed out and so did the voice that she heard calling out to her. Eventually it all faded.

Trying to soothe out her senses, she closed her eyes and tried to regain composure, and then she turned to look at the person who had been with her throughout the trip. There he was, right next to her, looking at her with concern and love in his eyes. He was the Angel. Her New Life. Her Husband...!!!